Gutter Eloquence

Very excited to say that two pieces of mine, "Dog Logic" and "Every bed is a deathbed" will be in the next issue of Gutter Eloquence.

Underground Voices

two poems up now in one of my favorites zines on the net, Undergound Voices. find the poems here.

decomP

I just got a short story "how do I look?" accepted for the July issue of decomP, a really great online lit zine. I've been reading decomP for a while now and it's really exciting to be included in their magazine. Check out the zine here. I'll post a link to the story when it's up.

Persephonous Blue

A piece of mine titled "a soft-ass motherfucker" will be in the first issue of Persephonous Blue. Blue is a new literary zine of raw confessional poetry run by Janice Brabaw. Check out the website here.

Underground Voices

Really excited that two pieces of mine "the man in line in front of me at the pawn shop" and "morning traffic" will be in the June issue of Underground Voices.

Six Sentences

I have a short prose piece up at a really cool site called Six Sentences. You can find it here.

The Exuberant Ashtray

Excited to say my piece "Guts" is in the new issue of The Exuberant Ashtray - zine of Rob Plath. Check it out here.

Leaf Garden

Proud to say three poems will appear in the first issue of Leaf Garden, a new zine from Leaf Garden Press run by editors Robert Louis Henry and Melanie Brown - both poets I enjoy a lot. The poems are "old jazz records" "if ever you wake" and "the american night terror." I'm excited about this coming out, these two are great and I think they're going to put out a great zine.

The Thin Edge Of Staring

The great guys at Epic Rites just put a poem of mine "blood ivory grin" up at their e-zine The Thin Edge Of Staring, a zine that explores artists and the creative process. You can check out the poem here.

Opium Poetry

Opium Poetry is a blogzine run by Ross Vassilev, who is a really great poet. He put a poem of mine titled "a little bit burned" on it. check it out here.

Heroin Love Songs

Very excited to say my poem "knife blade sandwiches" is in Volume 6 of Heroin Love Songs. I love this zine (which you can find here).

The print edition of the zine is available as a free pdf here at lulu. There will also be an online version of it, but that won't be up for a few days - so I will update with the link to that when it is available online.

Gutter Eloquence 3

Issue 3 of Gutter Eloquence is up and running feat. one poem by me in it. Issue 3 Here!!

Zygote In My Coffee

Proud to say two piece of mine "Somewhere, A Future Poet Sleeps" and "Raindrop Symphony" can be found in issue #116 of Zygote In My Coffee. Check It Out!

Gloom Cupboard

New issue of Gloom Cupboard is here with a poem reading neruda by me in it. Check it out.

tiny buddha

there's a
tiny buddha
on top
of my pen
to remind
me that
life is suffering
as if
the ink
wasn't doing
that already

body scrapings

after i
shower
w/ my body
still wet
i like to
scrape the
dead skin
off my
ankles

i like to
feel the
body shavings
flake off
and crumble
under my
fingernails

it reminds
me of
death
constantly
clawing away
at my soul
like a
cheese grater

but under
the dead
is a
fresh layer
of skin
to stop
death from
finishing me
off

this
poem
is
a
layer
of
new
skin

Upcoming

I've been neglecting this blog.
Sorry.
Just want to update and let everyone know about upcoming zine appearances.

Both of the zines at Epic Rites: Lines Written W/ A Razor and The Thin Edge Of Staring will have me in their upcoming issues. Lines will be printing two of mine "Black Coffee" and "In the front row for Armageddon", and Thin Edge will be using one of mine "ink & seed" sometime soon - but it's published on a rolling basis so I will post it when it's on there. Huge fan of these guys, these zines, and their press. Check out Epicrites.org and support them.

Rob Plath's zine The Exuberant Ashtray will be using one titled "guts" in his next issue. I'm excited about it as I'm a huge fan of Robs. Awesome dude, Awesome zine.

"Children, Churches, and Daddies", a really cool magazine, will be using the poem "saving lives" in their December 09 issue, but it should be available online soon. As soon as it is, I'll post the link.

until next time
seacrest out

A poem on my 23rd birthday

between the time
i went to sleep last night
and when i woke up this morning
not much changed
the economy is still in shambles
i am still broke
my bills are still due
people are still homeless
men and women are still dying
in the name of invisible men in the sky
women are still getting raped
all the bullshit humans inflict on each other
is still going on
nothing is different or special about today
except my wallet felt a little thicker
under my ass
as i drove to work this morning.

Slayer

A
vampire
lives
in
me.

I
kill
him
every
time
I
stab
a
pen
through
my
heart.

Aftertaste

my
lips
taste
best
when
they
taste
like
your
lips

The American Night Terror

when i wrapped
the noose
of hundred-dollar bills
around my neck
i saw
flashes of
the future
images of
business meetings
expensive dinners
nights spent
in my favorite recliner
watching cable
quaint suburban neighborhood
all the houses look the same
2.5 kids
a warm afternoon spent
landscaping the yard
stock market mood swings
so i kicked the chair
out from under my feet
and i was only alive
long enough to feel
my neck snap

On Our Knees

the ones
with the
guns make
the rules
& they
have got
us on
our knees

we've only got
our pens
and paintbrushes
whittled down
into shanks
to fight
them off

the minute
we put
them down
it's
lights out
for us

Hide & Seek

Death
is the best
hide & seek player
in the world
he plays dirty
and lurks in the dark
he will find you
at the bottom
of a bottle
or in the shadows
of a bar or
the alley outside
even your own home
is not safe
the best way
to fight Death
in the dark
is to leap from bed
in the morning
with a clear head
swinging
swinging
swinging
through the fog
until you feel your fist
connect with Death's lower jaw
and you break it
fucking off

The Poetry Warrior

The Poetry Warrior Issue 3 is up and running.

http://www.thepoetrywarrior.com/issuethree.html

My poem "Is Dead" is in this issue along with a lot of really great artists. Please check it out.

Oh, and I misspelled Virginia Woolf's name. I thought I had fixed it before submission. Apparently not. GREAT.

The Secret Handshake

there are
around
50 muscles
in the
human
face
and a thousand
permutations
of
smiles and frowns
and bedroom eyes
but
I've cracked the code
I've solved the Rubik's Cube
I've found
the perfect
heartsick smile.

they say
the body
will manifest
physically
the caldera
of feelings
that boils beneath
the surface
and
I know
that to be true
when she asks
"How do I look?"
and I feel
my face contort
as if to say:
You look beautiful
and
I curse every
day and night and
question God
because you are
two feet in front
of me but
could not be
farther away
and
none of your boyfriends
deserve to be called
motherfucker
but
that isn't going
to stop me.

that smile,
it's a
secret handshake
you've got to
join the club
to learn it
and
if you already have
then
you know
exactly
what I'm talking about
and
all I can say is

you poor thing
I am so
sorry.

The Decline

The Decline

How did we get here
so fast?
In less than
a hundred years time
we went from
punk rock
to
Myspace
from
the greatest generation
to
the "I'm the greatest" generation
from
a lost generation
to
a generation lost.
Gone are
cafes of artists
discussing society
and
writing letters
to one another
instead we have
text messages of
"oh my god
like
whatever"
and
kids throwing out Shakespeare
to make room for
Chuck Palahniuk
and books filled with
dollar store words
as deep as
a birdbath.
What caused
such rapid atrophy?
Cliff's Notes
television
text messaging
Myspace
Facebook
every shortcut you took
every book you didn't read
every girl you tried to impress
every boy you thought you had to
dumb yourself down for
every escape you took
instead of dealing with your
fucking life
and
if you think
I'm talking to you;
I am.

oh my god
like
whatever.

Revisionist History

I've spent a lot of my adult life feeling embarrassed.

Years ago, it was because of my weight. I eventually got over that, then I got rid of the weight.

Since then, I've spent a lot of time feeling embarrassed about things that I've written. Well, not so much specific things that I've written, but about the nature of the subject matter. I am overly sensitive, overly emotional, and frequently overly honest. I don't know when to hold back. Hell, I wrote a girl a poem after three dates. Pathetic, right? You see where I'm coming from now.

Even on this blog, there are some older posts where I basically just let loose how I was feeling at the time, and I've seriously considered going back and deleting them.

But then, a funny thing happened.

A friend of mine emailed me and told me one of my blogs really resonated with her and helped her get through a situation she was dealing with at the time. That meant so much to me.

I felt embarrassed about writing those things because I worried about people coming to my blog and thinking less of me for being so open. I worried it might turn them off from reading my work. However, after that email, I realized that I didn't care anymore. That I could have an impact on someones life for even the smallest amount of time means much more to me than the opinions of strangers and potential readers. Yes, I want people to read my work, but I will let the work stand for itself. If someone decides that my personality turns them off from reading, then just as well, there are thousands of other writers for them to read. I'd much rather share my experiences with people and develop relationships with them, because we are all in this together.

I saw Michael Caine on the Tonight Show once, and when Leno asked him how he got into acting he said something to the effect of being in school and signing up for drama class because there was a ton of girls in there. I've always said that I think a lot of mens professions at some point or another have something to do with trying to impress a girl. I am no different. I've been writing since I was in middle school, but honestly, one of the main reasons I started writing so fervently and trying to get published this past year was because I was trying to impress an English major that I had a mega mega crush on. (again, pathetic, right?) However, as silly a thing as that is to admit to, it worked out for the best because I unleashed a furious passion that I might not have had the guts to follow earlier.

Basically, what embarrassment boils down to is the need to impress people. I've spent so much time feeling embarrassed because I worried so much about impressing people.

I am a much different man than I used to be. Now, I feel embarrassed ABOUT feeling embarrassed. I have made mistakes. I have regrets. However, the past is not a tangible thing, it is not something to be fixed. The past is just a collection of moments spent living in the present. I have learned, I have grown. The past is not a sheath in which to rest, but rather a whetstone to sharpen our knives on so when life comes at you in a dark alley you are prepared to defend yourself and stab that son-of-a-bitch before he gets your wallet, or worse: your spirit, your heart, or your courage.

P.S. - I cannot stress enough how amazing the new Animal Collective album is. Please go buy it.

The Zen Of Mechanics

The Zen of mechanics
and fathers
is in their tired calloused hands
that shovel food
into their mouths
before they fall asleep in the recliner
(watching the golf channel)
and get up the next morning
stiff and sore
to go to work
and do it all over again.