The Secret Handshake

there are
around
50 muscles
in the
human
face
and a thousand
permutations
of
smiles and frowns
and bedroom eyes
but
I've cracked the code
I've solved the Rubik's Cube
I've found
the perfect
heartsick smile.

they say
the body
will manifest
physically
the caldera
of feelings
that boils beneath
the surface
and
I know
that to be true
when she asks
"How do I look?"
and I feel
my face contort
as if to say:
You look beautiful
and
I curse every
day and night and
question God
because you are
two feet in front
of me but
could not be
farther away
and
none of your boyfriends
deserve to be called
motherfucker
but
that isn't going
to stop me.

that smile,
it's a
secret handshake
you've got to
join the club
to learn it
and
if you already have
then
you know
exactly
what I'm talking about
and
all I can say is

you poor thing
I am so
sorry.